God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
