dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
