Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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