Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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