it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Let's get the cat blown out
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
