Little spoons don't ask big questions
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
