I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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