A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize