is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
