Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Randomize
