Please, let me fuck your mom
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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