I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
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Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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