You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I need water and some morals
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
