So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
