Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize