Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
