I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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