Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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