went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
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