the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
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