Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.