trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT