He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
