I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize