theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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