i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
