**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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