I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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