So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Randomize
