The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
