I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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