Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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