Whod you bang
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
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