belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Randomize