wat bout pragnant strippers??
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
