I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
