My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
