She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Dear god my vagina.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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