We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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