Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
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There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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