Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
