That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize