I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
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