The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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