They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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