I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
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I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
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Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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