Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
3pm strippers are depressing
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Randomize
