i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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