oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
