he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize