also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
