No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize
