At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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