I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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