If i come over, it means nothing
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
