so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
This is my life. Enjoy the view
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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