You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
