Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
