I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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