Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize