I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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